Things you would never know without the movies:

[Viking067]

During most police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a smoke-filled strip club at least once.

 

When they are alone, all foreigners generally prefer to speak English to one another.

 

If being chased through town, you can almost always take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade or a nearby Italian street festival.

 

All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to armpit level for a women but only waist level for the man lying beside her.

 

The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star detective -- or give him 48 hours to finish the job.

 

All grocery bags contain at least one baguette.

 

It's not easy but certainly do-able for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone with a calm, soothing voice to talk you down over the radio.

 

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place -- no one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.

 

Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their polar opposite.

 

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from most any window in Paris.

 

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off.

 

If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

 

You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home, or speaking of some plan to buy a house or complete your education.

 

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language -- a German accent will do.

 

If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.

 

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

 

When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill -- just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always cover the exact fare plus tip.

 

The Chief of Police is always black.

 

Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

 

If staying in a haunted house, women must always investigate strange noises by walking slowly in their direction. The possibility that said noises might constitute some physical threat never figures into the equation.

 

Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.

 

Cars that drop off the side of the road will almost always burst into flames.

 

All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

 

A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK stadium.

 

Colorful supporting characters in melodramas always have yellowish or greenish-black teeth, with silver or gold fillings.

 

Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and glare -- wide-eyed, open-mouthed -- at the camera lens.

 

It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye or even grunt with familiarity when beginning or ending phone conversations.

 

Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the wheel sharply from left to right every few moments.

 

It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

 

A detective can usually solve a case only once he has been suspended from duty or discredited for having made an error that cost the life of a fellow policeman.

 

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts -- your enemies will patiently attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have taken out their predecessors.

 

When a person is hit unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

 

No one ever involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

 

Once applied, lipstick will never rub off -- even while scuba diving.

 

You can always find a chain saw when you need one.

 

Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds -- unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

 

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment that it is aired.

 

Have a laugh.

Viking